Coming Out of the Broom Closet: Part 2; Advantages, Disadvantages, Is it Right for You?

The decision to out yourself as a Pagan/Wiccan/Witch is highly personal, and every situation is unique to the individual. Certain matters have to be taken into account, and one must determine if it's really for the best.

Pros:
Being out can be a great thing. No secrecy, no tiptoeing around, freedom, liberation. It also makes it easier to find and be found by like minded people to connect with. There's a great weight lifted off your shoulders once the worry of someone finding out on terms you didn't plan on is taken away.

Cons:
You may be worried about the consequences of certain people having this information. This is why I chose to post on your legal rights before this one. You should never live in fear of losing you kids/job/etc. over your religious beliefs, but for some this is a terrifying threat,

Even if consequences aren't so dramatic, certain friends or family members may not always be so accepting to the information. While they may pleasantly surprise you, carefully consider you decision before outing yourself to certain types of people.

Is it right for you?
Employment- Do you plan to out yourself to your co-workers? How well do you know them to gauge their reaction? How about your boss? Will you be putting yourself at risk for discrimination, and should (goddess forbid) that happen, are you prepared for that battle?

Family- Families can have all sorts of reactions. Some may be accepting, some will choose to ignore it, some will engage it, others will try to fight it. Realistically, what is your family likely to do? Each person as an individual? Would it be best to come out to them all at once, or take it slow, one person at a time? And if you do want to come out gradually, can they be trusted to keep your secret?

Your Personal Feelings- Be honest with yourself. In how high of a regard do you hold other people's opinions? As a whole? Each person individually? How much would it hurt you if someone you loved shunned you when you opened yourself to them? Are you prepared for that possibility? Yes, it's easy for many to say they don't care about the opinions of others but in reality when it comes to people we care about we are often quite affected when they dont seem to care about us as much as we thought they did. Really be truthful with yourself. 

My family knows my religion, and my mother has mocked me. Even as much as I loathe the woman and could care less what she thinks of me and my life, it still boiled my blood to hear to say the things she did  about my faith. It was hard. But to be honest, i'm glad I overcame it. For me, personally, I like to be upfront with everyone about who I am and what my deal is. But this is not for everyone.

Do some soul searching. I love being out of the broom closet, I really do, it's the best decision I ever made, but one of the hardest.
   
Have you come out of the broom closet? How was your experience? If you're still in, why, and do you have any plans to come out?

Coming Out of the Broom Closet: Part 1; Coming Out and Your Legal Rights as a Pagan

If you've been a wiccan/witch for any span of time, you're probably familiar with the term of "coming out of the broom closet". More than that, it may be a decision you're struggling with.
While more and more people are becoming comfortable with the decision to be open with the world about their beliefs, many still have various, often multiple, reasons for keeping their practice a  secret.

One might be concerned about discrimination in the workplace, strife among friends and family members, or even becoming a victim of a hate crime for their beliefs (and who can blame them when looking at the history of the treatment of witches?)

With these concerns, every Pagan/Wiccan/Witch should be informed about his or her legal rights, which I will share below:

Rights of Students in Private Schools
The general rule is that no private school may discriminate against a student on the basis of race, but pretty much any other issue (such as religion, or sexual orientation, for example) is something that gets thorny. For instance, a Catholic school might choose not to admit a gay or lesbian student because it goes against the philosophy of their church. Likewise, a Christian school may say, "We only want Christian students here." As long as they are not receiving federal tax dollars, this has been allowed by the courts in the past.
So, if you're going to a private school that has a policy against your wearing Wiccan religious jewelry, you're pretty much out of luck. If you were a public school student, you might have a case on your hands.

The Establishment Clause
It is this clause - the Establishment clause - that grants us the separation of church and state. The idea of “separationism,” as interpreted by man lawmakers, means that the government and agents of the state are prohibited from endorsing, establishing or supporting any and all religious affiliations.

So, how does the Establishment Clause benefit Pagans? Well, it’s pretty simple - it benefits you the same way that it benefits everyone else in America. It means that religions that aren’t yours can’t be forced on you, at least not legally, or under the guidelines of the United States Constitution. If you believe that you’re being treated unfairly, because of a violation of the Establishment Clause, it’s important to let someone know. There are a number of agencies that work towards religious freedom, who would love to hear your story.

“I’d love to practice my faith openly, but I’m afraid I’ll lose my job/my kids/my house/my hamster/whatever if I come out of the broom closet!"
While it’s true that there have been cases of discrimination against Pagans and Wiccans in certain parts of the country, the fact is that if you educate yourself about your own rights, it’s a lot harder for someone else to try to take them from you.

Here's How:

1. If you live in the United States, the best place to start educating yourself is to understand the First Amendment and how it affects you. In addition to guaranteeing us the right to free speech, the First Amendment states that the government shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof. What this means is that you’re allowed to be Christian, Wiccan, Jewish, Muslim, a Satanist, or a member of the Grand High Order of the Sparkly Toaster Oven, and there’s no one in the government who can prevent you from holding your beliefs.
   
2. Legally, you can’t be fired from your job, lose custody of your kids, or have your house repossessed SOLELY on the basis of your religious beliefs. However, there are a couple of things you need to bear in mind. First, religion is not a viable defense if you’re doing something illegal. You can’t neglect your children and then claim religious discrimination when someone calls the authorities. Likewise, if you fail to show up at work on time or you demonstrate a lack of competence in your job, saying you got fired because you’re Wiccan or Pagan probably won’t hold much water in a lawsuit. 
   
3. If you suspect you may be a victim of religious discrimination, be sure to document EVERYTHING that takes place. Keep a diary of any conversations or events that happen. Finally, understand that there is a difference between discrimination and people just being opinionated. Religious discrimination takes place when you are denied the same rights as other people, on the basis of your religion. Someone who tells you they think Wiccans are devil-worshippers or who asks you if you’d like to join them at Bible study is not discriminating against you or persecuting you, they are merely sharing their opinion.
   
4. There are some things you can do to help reduce the chance that you will be discriminated against on the basis of your religion. Educate yourself about the laws in your area. Find out what your local school board’s stance is on Paganism and Wicca, and learn what your employer’s position is on taking time off for Sabbats or regarding the wearing of religious jewelry. Network with other Pagans and Wiccans. Even if you practice as a solitary, there is strength in numbers. By making yourself known in the Pagan community, you make it easier for like-minded people to come to your aid if you need them to.
   
5. Get to know your co-workers and neighbors. If someone knows you as a friend or neighbor first, then when they figure out that you’re Pagan or Wiccan, they’re far less likely to stir up legal trouble for you.
   
6. If you’re a parent, be sure to provide your children with some sort of spiritual framework. Even if you plan to let them choose their own path eventually, start giving them a foundation now for making an educated decision later in life. If you find yourself in a courtroom, it may make a better impression if you’ve provided your child with some religious education.
   
7. Understand that while you have religious freedom, so do other people. If you’re involved in a divorce or custody battle and your ex wants to take Junior to church on Sunday mornings, let them go. It shows people that you’re open minded, and it also provides your child a chance to compare religious paths.
   
8. If you do have to go to court, dress in a conservative manner. Don’t show up wearing a cape, holding a sword, and sporting a pentacle the size of a large Schnauzer. Arrive clean, well groomed, and wearing a nice suit or dress. Be respectful of judges, attorneys, and even people who have made nasty accusations about you and your beliefs.
9. Finally, be sure that you never sign any document without consulting a civil rights lawyer first. If someone presents you with a piece of paper and says you’ll only get your kids back if you sign it, call an attorney immediately. It’s better to wait a day or so to see your children than to unknowingly sign away your rights forever.

Tips:

1. Ultimately, it’s important to understand that education equals empowerment -- you can protect yourself by becoming aware of the rights in your state or area.
2. If you ever believe you may be set up for discrimination based on your religion, talk to an attorney -- try to find one who specializes in Pagan and Wiccan cases. Finally, make sure you’re setting the best example you can as a Pagan or Wiccan, so that when people meet you for the first time, they’ll get a good impression of people who practice nature-based faiths. You may be less likely to face discrimination if people get to know you as a person rather than just a symbol or piece of jewlery

 Pagans in the Military
  Whether you're a member of the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marine Corps, or Coast Guard, if you're a Wiccan or Pagan, you're entitled to the same religious rights as people of other faiths. You can have the word "Wiccan" imprinted on your dog tag, you can pray to your own gods or goddesses, and you can even attend services and rituals held on your base, if you're fortunate enough to be in an area that has other Pagans in it.

Government entities do recognize Wicca as a religion. In 2001, the revised edition of the U.S. Air Force Personnel Data System (MilMod) included Dianic Wicca, Druidism, Gardnerian Wicca, Pagan, Seax Wicca, Shamanism, and Wicca. Not only that, the Military Chaplain's Handbook acknowledges Wicca within its pages and outlines procedures for interacting with Wiccan and Pagan soldiers.

Pagans/Wiccans in the Workplace

Protection Under the Law
According to the "Employment at Will" act, your employer is allowed to hire, fire, promote, or demote you any time, for any reason, and without even stating a reason, unless you have a written contract that states otherwise. There are four exceptions to this:

•     for your religion, color, gender, ethnic background or any other reason mentioned in the civil rights acts
•     for filing complaints with Occupational Safety & Health Act (OSHA) organizations
•     for organizing a union, which falls under the protection of the National Fair Labor Practices Act
•     for any disability protected by the Americans with Disabilities Act.

If, for example, a supervisor asks you to remove a religious symbol at work, first ask that the request come in writing. Secondly, speak to the Human Resources Department if your employer has one. Let them know -- politely, and NOT in a manner that seems defensive -- that you are curious as to the company’s policy on wearing religious jewelry, and if it is applied to employees of all faiths. There’s a good chance your supervisor is simply uneducated, and a quick check with HR will nip things in the bud
.What About Sabbats?
Some Pagans and Wiccans take days off for religious holidays -- Yule, Samhain, etc. If your workplace is normally open on these days, you may have to use one of your personal days on these occasions. There are different rules applied to employers in the private sector and to government agencies -- check to see what your company’s policy is on taking time off for religious observations. 
Can I Get Fired?
If you are suddenly facing the threat of termination after coming out of the broom closet, despite an excellent work history, you should contact a civil rights attorney who specializes in Pagan and Wiccan discrimination cases.  
 More on Your Legal Rights
 _____________________________________
If you do decide to come out, there's also the decision of just how "out" you want to be. For some, close friends or even only their significant other is enough. Many people of all sorts of different religious affiliations choose to keep the details of the personal practices to themselves. 

On the other end of the spectrum, there are those who are loud and proud. They walk their path, and are happy to let anyone know it.

I personally fall somewhere in between. It's definitely not a secret. All people who are involved in my life are aware, even though I don't regularly discuss my practices whatsoever with anyone but my husband. However, I do choose to wear a pentacle at all times.  I don't go around announcing myself, but I'm not afraid to share with anyone who asks. I'm proud, but from the corner of the room you could say.

Where do you fall? Please do share whether or not you are "out", why or why not, and if you would or would not like to be!

Next Post: Coming Out of the Broom Closet Part Two: Advice for Coming Out

Solitary Esbat Ritual

Here is the Moon Ritual to use when working solitary. It's a smorgasborg of parts from various trads, with a small amount of original material, but it works. If your just starting out, I hope you find it helpful.

Quarter Candle Invocation
Tools: Quarter candles
East: I call upon light and Air at the East
to illuminate and enliven the circle.
South: I call upon light and Fire at the South
to illuminate and warm the circle.
West: I call upon light and Water at the West
to illuminate and cleanse the circle.
North: I call upon light and Earth at the North
to illuminate and strengthen the circle.

Casting Circle Tools: bell, athame or sword, water, salt, circle incense.
Sound the bell three times.
Holding athame, say
'Mighty Mother
Strike this blade with light
That I may cast the magick circle!'
Cast the circle with the athame, saying

'I conjure thee, o circle of art,
to be a temple between the worlds;
to be a crucible of change for the powers of the ancient ones.
Wherefore do I bless and consecrate thee.
So mote it be!'
Touch the salt with the athame and say
'Mighty Mother,
bless this creature of earth in thy service.
As salt is pure, so may it purify us in all ways we may use it.'
Consecrate the water by adding three pinches of salt and saying
'Mighty Mother,
bless this creature of water in thy service.
As water gives us life, so may we be reborn in these rites.'
Consecrate the fire by holding aloft and saying

'Great Father,
bless this creature of fire in thy service.
May it spark the sacred flame the burns within our hearts.'
Consecrate the incense by adding three pinches of incense to the fire and saying

'Great Father,
bless this creature of air in thy service.
May it carry our will out upon the winds of change.'
Spurge the circle with the holy water, saying
'I consecrate this circle
in the names of Cernunnos and Aradia.
Cense the circle with incense, saying
'The circle is conjured a circle of power
that is purified and sealed.
So mote it be!'
Calling the Quarters Tools: athame
After the circle is cast, facing east, draw the Invoking Pentagram of Earth in the air with the athame, saying
'I call the Lords of the Watchtowers of the East,
Lords of Air
New beginning, new life,
From the gates of Dawn,
From the realms of Spring,
as we here possess breath and wit
we are thy kith and kin!
Come join us
to attend our rite and guard the circle'
facing south, draw the Invoking Pentagram of Earth in the air with the athame, saying
'I call the Lords of the Watchtowers of the South, Lords of Fire
From the stroke of the lightning
To the blaze upon the hearth
From the gates of Noontide
From the realms of Summer
as we here consume life to live
we are thy kith and kin!
Come join us
to attend our rite and guard the circle'

facing west, draw the Invoking Pentagram of Earth in the air with the athame, saying

'I call the Lords of the Watchtowers of the West, Lords of Water
Lengthening shadow across the mountain,
gathering coolness of the evening glen,
first star of the twilight.
From the gates of Evening
From the realms of Autumn
as we here feel and our hearts beat
we are thy kith and kin!
Come join us
to attend our rite and guard the circle'

facing north, draw the Invoking Pentagram of Earth in the air with the athame, saying
'I call the Lords of the Watchtowers of the North, Lords of Earth
brilliant darkness, sun at midnight,
gossamer flicker of aurora's light.
From the gates of Midnight
From the realms of Winter
as we here have bodies and strength
we are thy kith and kin!
Come join us
to attend our rite and guard the circle'

Solitary Invocation of the Goddess
Tools: Goddess candle
With arms raised in the Crescent Goddess salute, say
'I invoke thee and call upon thee
Mighty Mother of us all
bringer of all fruitfulness
by seed and root, by stem and bud,
by leaf and flower and fruit do I invoke thee
to descend and join me in my circle!'
light Goddess candle
Solitary Invocation of the God
Tools: God candle

With arms raised in the Horned God salute, say
'Deep calls on height, the Goddess on the God,
On him who is the flame that quickens her;
That he and she may seize the silver reins
And ride as one the twin-horsed chariot.
Let the hammer strike the anvil!
Let the lightning touch the earth!
Let the Lance ensoul the Grail!
Let the magic come to birth!'
light God candle
'The Temple is erected, and I am between the worlds;
beyond the bounds of time and space,
where day and night,
sorrow and joy,
birth and death,
meet as one!
Hail and welcome! Blessed be'
Raising Power for the Work
Tools: Cords, candles, tools of divination, poppets, whatever tool is needed for the work
Here is the place for dancing, chanting, drumming, or what is used to raise power.

Then, when the power is raised, focus it with visualization and chant.

When all is ready, let the power go.
Solitary Rite of Cakes and Ale
Tools: athame, chalice, wine or fruit juice, plate of crescent cakes
Fill chalice in left hand, pour from right hand. Holding chalice in left hand and athame in right hand, lower athame into chalice, saying

'As the athame is to the male,
so the cup is to the female,
and conjoined, they become one in truth.'
Hold aloft the chalice and say
'Gracious Goddess of abundance
bless this drink and infuse it with your love
In your names, Goddess and God
I bless this wine!'
take a sip of the wine
Hold aloft the plate of cakes. Draw the Invoking Pentagram of Earth over the cakes with the athame, saying
'Powerful God of the harvest
Bless these cakes and infuse them with your love
In your names, God and Goddess,
I bless these cakes!'
take a bite of the cakes
Now pour a bit of the wine and set aside some of the cakes as a libation to the Mighty Ones. After ritual, put the libation outside, where the Old Ones may send some of their other children to share...
Grounding and Centering
Let the power raised that is still within return to the earth to heal it's wounds, remembering to keep a little for one's self. This is important! Skip this and you may find your self with anything from a spacey mindset to insomnia to a splitting headache. Let the excess energy return to the Mother.

Thanking the Gods
'Queen of the Starry Night
Horned One of the Wild Wood
I thank thee for attending my rites.
Go if you must,
stay if you will,
and know that you are always welcome!
Blessed be!'
extinguish God and Goddess candles
Releasing the Quarters
Tools: athame
Facing east, make the Banishing Pentagram of Earth, saying
'Lords of the Watchtowers of the East
Lords of Air
I thank thee for attending my rites,
Go if you must,
stay if you will,
and know that you are always welcome!
I bid you Hail and Farewell!'
Facing south, make the Banishing Pentagram of Earth, saying
'Lords of the Watchtowers of the South
Lords of Fire
I thank thee for attending my rites,
Go if you must,
stay if you will,
and know that you are always welcome!
I bid you Hail and Farewell!'
Facing west, make the Banishing Pentagram of Earth, saying

'Lords of the Watchtowers of the West
Lords of Water,
I thank thee for attending my rites,
Go if you must,
stay if you will,
and know that you are always welcome!
I bid you Hail and Farewell!'
Facing north, make the Banishing Pentagram of Earth, saying

'Lords of the Watchtowers of the North
Lords of Earth
I thank thee for attending my rites,
Go if you must,
stay if you will,
and know that you are always welcome!
I bid you Hail and Farewell!'

Closing the Circle
Tools: athame
Walk the circle deosil with the athame in the receptive hand, pulling in the energy into the athame. When done, hold athame aloft, facing north and say
'Beings and powers of the visible and invisible,
Depart in peace!
You aid in my work,
whisper in my mind,
bless me from the Otherworld,
and there is harmony between us.
My blessings are with you.
The circle is closed
but never broken!
So mote it be!'
The ritual is done!

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